I see her every night, she alludes me asking to stay with her as my alarm rings, bringing me out of slumber. I know her perfectly than any girl I ever knew, I remember her;
chubby cheeks, dimple chin
rosy lips, teeth within
curly hair, very fair
Eyes are blue, lovely too
Yes, she was my teacher’s pet from kindergarten when we recited the rhyme looking at her. I am sure, we had a thing going on when we are in Kindergarten. We used to sit beside each other, eat together & our moms used to walk us home together in the afternoon. She gave me a flying kiss once, at least that’s how I like to remember.
One beautiful spring afternoon, I remember her cheeks turned red due to heat & my little hands brushed through her cheeks complaining she is turning into a fat tomato. We were laughing so hard that we were whistling due to the air bursting through our missing baby teeth. It was the day before summer holidays started, our moms walked us home as usual and we walked that day hand in hand our little soft fingers holding each other & swinging as we sang our rhymes in our childish enthusiasm. When we parted that day I never knew that it was the last time I would see her, how could I guess? We were little kids with our innocence & infinite optimism as we parted that day never to meet again.
Summer passed & I went back to school waiting for my chubby cheek tomato girl but she never came. Her father got transferred to another town & so she moved with him, I waited for a season hoping she would magically return one day with her blue eyes & curly hair. So I moved on, got new friends, learned new rhymes and played new games but walked back home alone. She slowly slipped through my memory, I was having a busy schedule of managing homework and mischief together as I glided through my childhood to adolescence. She was a memory of past, I never thought of her & I am not sure if everything I remember now actually happened until one night she appeared in my dreams. I knew without a doubt it was her, her rosy lips were as flawless as ever, her dark hair curled down to her waist & her skin was as fair as a new moon, she was bedazzling.
She had visited me every night since then, taking me back the memory lane & we have created our own perfect alternate future for us. Where she never moved out of town, where we walked back home together every day, where we celebrated every birthday with each other holding hands, where we went to high school prom together, where we became boyfriend & girlfriend, where we lived happily ever after. I never knew her last name but I know the name of the dog she would get & kids she would bear. We built it in my head a little piece at a time over years before my alarm wakes me up.
But this world is a cruel place, It rips off our perfectly planned future & hits us hard in the head with reality. I wonder if she even remembers me; if she is even real or fiction of my imagination? if she has a boyfriend or if she is already married? I fancy myself pondering what her dreams look like, does she dream of a dark, skinny, tall boy with crooked teeth & crooked smile following her around from kindergarten? Does she fancy thinking about my dreams?
So every night before going to bed I look at the moon & whisper things believing they are delivered to her as she looks at the moon from the other side of the world.